it has to happen eventually.

A few days ago, you said

"There's no such thing as a bad first date. First dates can only be either really good, or just okay."

A lecture by the lovely M.

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The keyword to this is, expectations.

All of us have an idea of a good idea date. The interests, conversation, chemistry, and of course, first impressions . These are the usual things that could make a good date, great but they can also be the criteria that we place onto ourselves and others that causes bad dates.

When we start placing expectations and the date doesn't live up to them, things go sour real quick.

Honestly, there's nothing wrong with being picky.

Of course! But, you shouldn't place expectations for the first date. After all, it's called the first date.

A first date should be a moment where two people really get to know each other, romantically. Hangouts, gathering, shopping sprees, or parties - none of these should be considered as a "date" as people tend to be in a different set of atmosphere or mood. A first date should be more of an introductory to the possible relationship.

Now, just because two people really hit it off on their first date, it doesn't really mean that the person is the right one. We've grown to learn that even if two people who do have a lot of common interests and desires, there is still a possibility for a very sad ending - like finding that someone with someone else and you kind of knew it but didn't really acknowledge it because it seems impossible, somehow.

case and point. sorry love.

Sometimes, the kindest of faces have the coldest of hearts.

Anyway,

Even if two people don't really get along or have much chemistry happening on their first date, it doesn't mean their not the one either. It is possible for someone to be able to eventually grow into your heart, like...

Childhood friends who end up falling for each other.

The little annoyance around you that you didn't realize how quiet it was without them around.

Or that one person, who'd wake up at 6am pretending he wasn't sleeping, just to listen to you when you needed someone to talk to.


Most people expect the perfect first date has to be a memorable one. But most memorable moments happen without you ever realizing it - it just happens.


Bottom line, if you have to place expectations, place expectations on yourself!



co-written by M.
"if you don't try, how can you ever find out?"