Wednesday, October 27, 2010

my two thousand word e-mail.

One last rant. I promise I wouldn't but I had to. Sorry love.

because hearing "you guys look cute together." was starting to hurt.


probably should've said this instead, last night.

I am dumb. and slow. i know that.

I'm an idiot for not realizing it or not brave enough to want to say anything sooner. i know that now.

And I'll be honest, I got scared.

I got scared from all the uncertainty I had from before; so I had to make sure that it's certain this time. I got scared because you've had a long history with whom I know I can't compete - even when I look at photos of you two, I feel like I'm in a fight I can't win. I got scared because you're very confident and friendly, even though I love that about you, subconsciously it made me think otherwise whenever I thought "okay maybe she does like me."

You're unbelievably smart, young, gorgeous, have this amazing smile, fun to talk to and I genuinely loved hanging out with you - seriously, you made grocery shopping fun. honestly, we went to buy kitty litter and i had fun.

the only other person that i can relate so well was, God rest her soul,

Lastly, I got scared because it's been a while since I've actually liked someone as much as I like you and I didn't want to scare you off by saying anything too soon.
Or maybe because it's been such a long while, I couldn't express as much as I wanted too. or even know how to.
Maybe I'm just not charming or charismatic. I'm not that type of guy.

I got scared and I was too late. i know that now, i know that now.

it felt brief but i enjoyed every minute of it. i'll miss you.
p.s. thank you again for the surprise slice of cake. it made my year.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

an early (good)bye

Alas, the twoangles project has reached its premature end. yes D, we only did 60 posts - sorry.

The story of twoangles came from a very unoriginal concept, the idea of two completely two different individuals perspectives on life.

One, the guy whom in his journey to find comfort in understanding and forging self-definition, had self-proclaimed driven to boredom by conforming decisions and mediocrity expectations - dwindled by the notion of que sera sera (what will be, will be).

The other, the young lady blessed by her own need of understanding herself by understanding others, travel to great distant homes and welcoming arms of loved ones and newly kindled friends. Which in results made her sought for more questions than answers - what is love?

The twoangles project has ended merely because it has exhausted to its expiring date. Not to vast hours of arguments, deceit or lies but just another project that has run its course.

To those who has supported, Aimi, Freida, Mish, Abigail, David S, Berlin, Farahin, Fatina, Careena, Sam, Sabrina, Josephine, Fiza, Faisal (Pecai), Syue, Kat, Vie, Edmond, and many others whom we have just probably forgot to mention (sorry about that we'll make it up to you on your birthday);

Thank you so much for actually reading our rants and mumbles. Sorry if we ever offended/hurt anyone. we are but misguided fools.

We love you.


Monday, May 17, 2010

because hello was never enough

Morning after morning,

We've been placed in this unwanted routine - resolving one mishandled problem at a time; only to face more as the previous finishes.

A friend once said,
"The only reason why the old reminisce memories of younger days is because they're bored."
Followed by several hints and references that we are old.

While it may just be more redundant fears of losing time, it's troubling how our yesteryears had been more eventful than we are now. and some of us weren't given the luxury of traveling sixteen countries for "research". shuttup.

So this is my plea.

For goodness sake, let something interesting happen soon.


Thursday, April 22, 2010

the avetha painting

"There are always two blank pages within my books - the first and the last page. I left them empty for all of you to flourish your own beliefs or draw blood."

avid S.


The Avetha Painting
was a piece done by an artist's obsession with expressing his passion, influences and trauma in a single painting.

Nothing new right?

Level Six.

At a brick apartment with a giant blank grey wall on the western side, he stood facing it, staring at a row of very thin paper placed side by side spanning from one end of the wall to the other. Behind him, stood a wooden table filled with an array of paint and brushes at his disposal.

He knew I was here to see him but never acknowledge my presence; as if swallowed in his own thoughts. For hours he stood there where the only movement he had was to his head pivoting left to right.

But then a flinch.

Picking up everything he needed, he ran to the farthest right empty sheet and started dabbing it with paint. As if a man possessed, his painting began. For days and nights, all his energy was spent on this painting.

Why am I here? You might be wondering by now.

His fixation was nothing new to us. A psychological aftermath of a trauma? Random strokes of genius? All there is to know for me is that I'm here to make sure he stays alive. Night after night at the very center of the table, a single bowl of wholewheat noodles and a glass of sugar water is placed. After every morning, it's emptied.

Six days and six nights, he took.

Each sheet of paper by itself were already beautiful pieces of artwork. All of them different than each other - without a single recurring theme. However if viewed from right to left, each painting's tone had slowly began to be darker and darker.

Standing there in full view, I watched him as he took down one painting at a time in a random order. Every single one was dabbed with water by hand and placed on top of each other - slowly and at precised locations. 'the devils of details', he once said.

It was then left laying there for three days as he took his much needed rest.


I stared at the painting which can only be described as a beautiful feminine structure with her right arm across her chest holding her left hand as she picks up a maroon flower. Behind her were wings-like contours drawn using words with a light scenery on one side slowly turning into a dark gloom on the other.

As he awoke from his long slumber, he stood next to me in silence.

"Who is she?" I asked.

"She was my obsession - my love." He replied.

two years ago, there was an incident.
his once then
fiancé had died as victim of a hit and run whom which he had unwillingly become a full witness to. the perpetrator was never found.

the avetha painting.
by M

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

"smart conversations"

dean cafe. coffee with a workaholic.

"Seriously! What's the point of all these complicated math equations?"

"Okay then. You tell me, what's the point of 'Hey There Delilah'?"


Friday, April 2, 2010

desperacy, an episode with the wonderful freida

"You have one of those moments where all you do is consider about life, then there are those times when life considers you."



An afternoon with freida y. long overdue, sorry.

To be graced by the ever so elegant madame freida was no uncommon occurrence where a typical afternoon with you usually meant us babbling about random crap we could think of.
Unlike any other day however, that day, you decided to tell me your stories. not after several sidetrack occurrences.

To place my own input in your stories would've been meaningless because just from your own chosen words and expressions (deja vu?), I could tell you had made your decision and you are more than content with it.


For the guilt of not writing, it is inexcusable. Despite the lack of material, your genius writing brain of yours and self-placed writer's block, I'm sure we can come up with something better than today's modern movie produced. see what i did there?

So here's to more photos, awkward lame jokes, and mind-boggling riddles. Hope to see you again soon.

For those still wondering what's the answer, it's:
"Three generations. A grandfather, a father and his son."

you're welcome.


Thursday, March 18, 2010

guten abend!

"So how does it feel like living a semi-minimalist (seminimalist?) lifestyle?"

"It's not too bad. I try to do things as minimal as I possibly can."