Saturday, October 3, 2009

your apathy is just ignorance

In life there's a lot of things that define who we are, one of them are these things we call "fine lines" that we often choose to cross or not.

These so-called fine lines are what usually separates us from one identity to another.

Usually the line exists between two opposite criteria (right and wrong). Such as the fine line between friends and enemies, sanity and insanity, love and hatred, or even self-defense and murder. But it's not always opposite, they can also often be closely related. The fine line between best friends and lovers, anger and actual rage, and not to forget the infamous line between harmless flirting and actual cheating.

While the line can be really obvious for most cases and therefore the choice to cross it is usually on the beholder hands, that's not always the case. For some of us, we are either dragged or even pushed across the line.

A man once said,
"it takes two to tango."
Same case here, no one would just cross a line without a reason (purpose).

A sane man does not just turn insane overnight, the turnover could occur over a loss of a loved one or even other traumatic experiences. A young soldiers, once full of life dutifully serving his countries returning beaten down by the tyranny of war.

But in most cases, the decision to cross is often self decided (self-inflicted). For instance, the decision for two friends to be more than friends. And I'm sure there's a lot of you who believe that this cross, "just happens" but in my opinion, that's a load of bullshit.

Or even two close friends. Friendship forged since the days they could barely even pronounce words properly, shattered over misunderstood deceit or secondhand lies. The outcomes are often decided by each other, whether to remain in hatred or to forgive and forget.

You can always choose to cheat on someone.
You can always choose to open up to someone.
You can always choose to forgive someone.

But the main question is . . .do you want to?

Sunday, September 27, 2009

coffee over columnists

Vigdis,
The whole reason over this meet.

Only you people would ever travel four hours just for lunch.

"Let me pick your brain." You said.

-

I waited for your arrival. Curious rather than nervous.

At exactly 3:00pm, you came waving at me on this open view two-storey cafe with a deck overlooking the countless sea of office workers trying to get back to work as lunch time was about to end.

Shorter than what I'd imagine.

With baggy eyes and rather skinny appeal, different. Not to mention a thin black trench coat which has become somewhat of a signature of your so-called "society". Nevertheless, something about you that gives this chilled presence unlike her, the other one of you I've met.

You sat next to me.

"What is someone as statuette as you doing here rather than being down there as one of them?" You greeted. hello to you too.

"One would say the same. Like your sir, I don't go to work, work comes to me." some would call it freelancing, I'd call it freedom-of-choice.

You nodded with a small smirk at the side.

"So what brings you to this meeting?" I asked. they told you I was 'straight to the point'.

"Vigdis." You replied.

Vigdis was an article I wrote based on the idea of writers (or rather crafters) who would use these encoding, encryption - steganography would be the correct term for it; in their pieces to deliver messages between two parties. Even from Ancient Greek, the word steganos means "cover, roof" and grapho is to "to write". In which, you and your co-writer(s) were mentioned in as well as several sources from different medias.

To the naked eye, an article like this would be seen as nothing more than a conspiracy junkie trying to rage against the media on how it's brainwashing the subconscious mind of it viewers/readers. A rant towards the media underworld. like one of those internet-ranters who didn't believe in the moon-landing - one would call them idiots but some would say 'liberators'.

However, the article itself had it's own hidden message. my own attempt at steganography.

Which if broken down, would show...

"Secretive people and people with secrets are two completely different beings." You said.

With a deep gaze as one hand holds the article closer towards your face and the other holding your chin up barely covering your mouth.

I smiled. the second person to finally get it.


written by Fi.
edited by I.O.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

the unwritten expectations

Sometimes all you need is someone to just be there for you,
and you just happen be in the right time at the right place.

Maybe, you're just part of cruel joke.

M

-

Like all of our lovely greets, "You're an idiot."

"Good to hear from you too, love."

Despite the fact that you've been away for the past four weeks, you still had time to entertain my uncertainty. We didn't speak that long but long enough to tell you my story - or what's left of it.

Silence fell.
As I stared at the phone, wondering if our lines got disconnected. Can't help but to be reminded that at the corner of my eye sat the whole main topic of this agenda.

le sigh.

"Have you ever stood in the same room as her and wondered 'why am I here?'", you asked.

"Yeah."

You replied, "When you know why, then you decide to send it or not."


The message which reads,
"I didn't do it on purpose.."

être poursuivi.

written by I.O and Fi.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

nice to see you again, mate.

A conversation between the usual cashier and a regular customer.

excuse the random-ness.
-

"Hey, nice to see you again, mate. How are ya?"
"Hey. Good thanks. Yourself?
"Yeah, good good. Buying stuff for yourself or your girlfriend again?"
"Haha. No no, it's all for me. She's not my girlfriend."
"Pity. You two look good together."


Cheers.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

the unsent message

San Churros, September 4.

"Are you going to send it or not?" You asked.

I kept staring at the message, reading it over and over again. Completely ignoring what you said.

-

It's exactly what I would like to say. But the question is, should I?

"Maybe it's just in my head. You know my tendency of over-thinking."

As our desserts arrived, all you did was rub your forehead. Sensing all I'm doing is finding an excuse not to send it. Like a friend once said, the higher the risk, the larger the rewards. but then again, the deeper the downfall if it fails.

"What if it's too much?"

You shrugged. an 'up-to-you' shrug.

I couldn't. Despite my best efforts to have the courage to send it, I just couldn't. The thought of the possible risk of rupturing whatever that was left of our friendship, held me back from doing so.

I just don't want to be seen as that over-dramatic guy. Sorry, you kind-of are.

But what if it did work? I've never been as comfortable around someone or someone who was so comfortably open to me. Keyword there, was. Would it restore what we had before? probably - not.

Alas, it remains at the back of a moleskin filled with notes.

The message which ends,
"And I'm sorry if I did, hope to hear from you."

être poursuivi.

written by I.O and Fi.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

the pale blue dot

"The Earth is a very small stage in vast cosmic arena.

On it, everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of - every human being whoever was, lived out their lives.

Thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines.

Every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every hero and coward - every creator and destroyer of civilization, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance.

The delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light; and underscores our responsibility and to preserve and cherish..

..the pale blue dot."

- Interlude

Friday, September 4, 2009

no subject

After who knows how long, it arrives - a reply.

-

People like us, we treat people like assets.

Assets with certain capabilities, we befriend.
Assets we contact for a purpose - an opportunity.
Assets we maintain for our own benefit.

Once the asset has fulfill our original need, they would then be deemed useless.
Thereafter, all ties would be severed.

People like us,
We don't care about these assets.
We won't wonder what they are doing.
We won't care what happens to them when they go missing.

We won't miss
her scent when she leaves the room.

"la vie en rose."
-
Anonymous

p.s. no matter how hard you try, you're not going to be one of us.